Wednesday, August 4, 2010
We just got news today that we were hoping that we would not hear during the course of my dad's illness. We learned that the cancer has spread from his lung to his abdomen. The surgeon wants to put a port in his chest so that he can receive chemotherapy. But we are fearful that the chemotherapy will make him sicker. His breathing has become more labored and he is having a harder time getting comfortable. He told me today as we were sitting on the front porch that he wishes that he would just close his eyes and fall asleep and not wake up. I just sat there and held his hand. I wanted to tell him that was my wish too, that I did not want him to suffer. But it is so hard to let someone go that you love with all your being. But if I have the choice to have him live on with this illness, I am more that willing to let him go. After all, he will be reunited with his loved ones that have passed on from this life and will be welcomed into the arms of Jesus. I want him to know that it will be okay. That we will be okay.